Getting A Girl’s Number – The New Way: Three steps

You want to get a girl’s number? Right. But, not JUST her number. You also want her to want to give it to you. All that means is – if you establish a few things first – then getting her number is part of a natural flow in which her thought process is the same as yours. She’s the one who’s thinking you should exchange digits, she’s thinking you should get together.

And guess what? When she’s in that frame there’s no resistance to giving you her number. No “fake number” scenario, no flaking. No chance of filling your phone with lots of women who don’t want to see you, who – at best – you’d have to persuade to meet up. No. Instead the digits you collect will each be from women who are excited to hear from you and enthusiastic to get together.

And getting those numbers is an easy 1-2-3 process

The first step in the process is always the same in seduction. Establish attraction. It seems like a big, complicated step to start with, but readers of my Seduce Women Uncensored newsletter know it happens fast (fast enough to meet a woman and swap numbers in a minute) and just requires one action to set up.

It doesn’t mean you need to get her attracted in that moment either. You just have to act like an attractive man would, which sets the right frame. Even if she ain’t swooning in those first few seconds, the actions you take will make it far more likely you’ll exchange numbers based on natural attraction.

This is how it works. You can’t get attraction from a woman without first establishing that there is a sexual dynamic between you and her rather than a social dynamic. That’s the man’s job. Put really simply, women will consider guys very differently (as a potential mate) if they know the guy is attracted to her. It’s your job to let her know.

That feeling of potential is what we want motivating the women whose numbers we log to stay in touch and meet up, which means she’ll want you to call or text her. So, first you establish you like her. Simple as that. It gives you a natural reason to exchange details. Also, it means the fact that you want to see her again doesn’t come out of nowhere. And, most importantly that direct action combines a bunch of masculine traits that women respond to emotionally.

It’s crazy just how many dating tips to get a gal’s number don’t set that up first. In some situations making a girl aware of your attraction might not need saying. But – to be clear – you’re NOT just demonstrating attraction only when it needs to be said, you’re specifically getting it out there so she knows what you’re about. Without that step there’s way less chance of swapping contact info.

girl-on-phone
Don't go for the number if you've got time for a date. Always ask yourself if you've gone far enough – just getting her number is not the goal

Second step: have you gone far enough? What this means in plainest terms is, are you going for the number to simply collect numbers as trophies or do you have a genuine reason to get her number? A genuine reason to get her number boils down to one thing: time. If you have the time, and she has the time. In other words, no pressing engagements, then do something there and then. Skip the number and go straight to date.

Your goal isn’t the number. All you want a number for is to get her back in front of you – if she’s in front of you now and you have time, then move the seduction forward. Usually the only thing stopping you is social convention. Which shouldn’t stop anyone. So, after establishing attraction, the best option is always to do something with your woman now. But that isn’t always possible – either for her or for you. So thank goodness for phone numbers.

Back to the task in hand…

Third step: ask. This is where real seduction differs from your average everyday dating guru advice. The standard dating guru will say don’t “ask” for the number because she can always say no. An example might be to say “how can we stay in touch?” which lets her offer her number. That’s a decent strategy, but not one that comes with any attractive value. Think of it like this, would a man with attractive value be concerned about a woman’s response? No. So put her on the spot and ask for her number.

I’m well aware asking for a girl’s number ain’t one of the sexy, covert seduction strategies you find in some other areas of seduction. There’s plenty of that in the WAYS you seduce women. But when it comes to getting a girl’s contact info, the best strategy is the direct, humble and honest one. That way you let all the attraction juice you’ve set-up work without manipulation of the situation.

We also want numbers of women who ARE interested. You don’t want a phone filled with women who walk away after swapping details, unengaged, who ignore your texts and never picks up your calls. And the best way to avoid that is direct, attractive, and straight-up: “Can I have your number?” You can be certain the number you get is worth 100x more than any that are given to guys who game (even just a little) a girl into sharing her digits.

How to ask for a girl’s number

Is there a right way to ask for a number? Sure. Just because we know that there’s no point in picking our words to make it less likely she’ll say no, doesn’t mean we dismiss power of words when it comes to making a Yes! have more appeal. There are lots of different ways to phrase asking for a girl’s number. The best of them take into consideration the state of mind that a woman is in at the time you meet. In other words they are tailored specifically to deal with the reasons she may not want to give you her contact info.

Imagine it like this. Women will always be (at least a little) hesitant to hand over her phone number to a stranger (even a guy she likes). Which is fair enough. And instead of playing with words to maneuver around that, we can deal with those objections directly with just one simple number getting seduction strategy.

This one…

So, you’ve talked for a minute, passed steps one and two. But you got places to be, things to do. You want to see her again though. Phone number it is. She’s into you (even just a tiny bit) so there is at least that motivation for her to see you again. On some level you both know it’s digits time.

So what’s her number-one reason to hesitate giving you her number. Social influence, which comes in a number of different guises: “Good girls don’t give out their number to any guy”; “I’m not sure about where this is going”; “What about Jimmy-Bob (her on/off boyfriend)?”; or “What is this guy thinking?”.

And you can alleviate all of these issues with one strategy. Offer a plan (even a simple one) which gives a reason to swap numbers. At its most complicated – which is still really simple – you reference something you’ve just spoken about: “I’d love to take you for ice-cream at my favorite place. Can I have your number?”; “Have you ever been to X. It’s a great place for a first date (eye contact/smile/take out phone). Would you like to go?”.

At it’s most simple this strategy is just about making clear your motivation, you let her know exactly what the plan is: “I’d like to see you again, what’s your number?” Now, in terms of the exact words you use, there’s nothing wrong with “let’s exchange numbers..” or “gimme your number?”. Just different ways of doing the same thing. You’re confident of a positive outcome.

At this point you maybe notice one thing though. It boils down to asking a question, “can I have your number?” instead of “give me your number and we’ll get together”. Now in some seduction teaching it’s considered bad form to ask. They say, why give her the option. Well I’ll tell you why. You don’t make it impossible for her to say no. You just make it very easy to say yes. Even badass seducers ask.

And if her biology is saying yes and you make it easy (normal) to say yes too. Then, when she does say yes to exchanging numbers you are off to a superb start. She’s offered a commitment. It’s a signal of interest if you care about such things. And in years of seduction, this way of getting a woman’s number has led to far more second dates than any shenanigans to limit the number of Nos guys hear!

Carson

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