When you develop your own rules of a strong frame and don’t put up with anyone breaking them then charismatic confidence follows. Your strong frame pulls people in. Although you make your own rules, here are the universal rules that I recommend you build your unbreakable frame around.
For example, if my girlfriend flakes on me, of course I will be pissed off, but I will show her that I am angry and will calmly state that it will not happen again. For everything that she does that I do not like, I tell her she can do it only 3 times: the first time, the last time and never again! My rules are strict. People will enjoy the time they spend with me. In return I will do everything I can for their happiness. I will teach them and have fun with them, but there are some rules you must follow, otherwise you won't see me ever again.
I make options for myself, so that you are not my only choice and I can go out with someone else if I choose. For now, even if you don't have other options, make it look like you do. Behave like you do. I am going to do everything for my girls. I love them and will treat them like a queen, but only as long as I think they deserve it. It is funny to see how, when women don't get what they want, they call me a jerk. They make not like my rules, but they will respect me if I stick to them.
Play By (And Be Congruent With) Your Own Rules
Take a look at the police. They have strict rules. Break them and you'll get punished, and trust me, you won't make the same mistake again in your life. I want you to do the same in your own life. Let people around you know what is allowed and what is not. Otherwise nobody is going to respect you. It is funny, but people will test you from time to time to see if you are still congruent with your frame. That is why I say that “shit tests” are not problematic. As long as you are congruent with your frame, shit tests are a non-issue. Women will challenge you all the time when you are seducing them. That's just normal behavior.
Stick To Your Principles (When Challenged)
My best friend has this cute little dog. The pet knows that it is not allowed to sleep on the sofa because he got his ass kicked a few times, and still months later he comes near the sofa with his cute little look. He glances at the sofa, then his owner, the sofa, the owner, just waiting for a reaction. He might even put one leg close to the sofa, the whole time looking at his owner.
What the dog is actually doing is testing his owner to see if he is still congruent with his rule about sleeping on the sofa. Is he going to allow him to jump on the sofa or is he going to yell at him? The dog is not giving his owner shit, just making sure he is still congruent. Children will test you in the same way. Every couple of days, or even hours, they will challenge you to see if the rules have weakened or changed. You can observe this behavior everywhere in nature.
Now, let's get back to charismatic people…
It's funny, but the more rules charismatic people have, and the more they punish those who break their rules, the more charismatic they appear. A negative examples would be Hitler, while positive examples like Christ, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama and Martin Luther King. Being assertive does not make you good or evil. It gives you power, and you choose how to use it.
These leaders issue commands and demand unquestioning loyalty. Challenging their ideas is strongly condemned and often leads to some type of emotional or physical punishment. With women, you give them pleasure and show them a really nice time when they are with you, but you must also remember to punish any negative behavior or disrespect from her.
So the first step toward developing confidence, belief, and attitude is to start respecting yourself! If you have ever gone out with me, you will notice something really unusual: as soon as I go into a set, I am not sucked into their frame. I do not live in their world. You will see that they live in my world.
How do you see this? When I approach a set or any group of people, I don't position myself so the whole group can hear me. I don't try to yell so the whole group can hear me. First, I position myself in the most comfortable position, where I feel the most relaxed. Then I reorganize the other people around me in a way I like. For example, I approach them, have them open up to me, sit down, and use the space around me to make myself comfortable. Then, I might position the extra people to talk to each other, while the target is left to talk to me. This behavior is not something I modelled or learned, but it's been a part of my personality for a long time.
Develop A Strong (But Flexible) Frame
I really can't stand people who have a weak frame. For example, I hate to see guys fall into a situation like this: A guy sits in a chair, maybe one that is totally uncomfortable like the letter S, and he stays there for hours pretending he is relaxed without saying a word about it. He would rather sit there no matter what because the chair is more important than who he is. It is more important than his health or his body… sad. Why the fuck should I be in some uncomfortable position when I talk with some average frustrated woman. What the fuck is she for me?
Relax: Be Comfortable
You will always see me in the most comfortable position you can imagine, while I am in a set or anywhere in life. Why? For a few reasons: You can't be nervous when you are in a relaxed position. You must feel cool. People will see you as a socially cool guy. More importantly, your voice is going to be deeper and more relaxed, so that people will start to lean in to hear you. If you drop your voice down when they can't hear you, they will start to lean in and pay more attention to your lips in order to understand what you are saying. Looking at someone's lips for ten minutes is really sexual.
And that's it. They all build into a sexually charismatic presence.
I hope you enjoy.